Thursday, October 16, 2008

Shallow

It's amazing to me how some people are, how they don't realize their own words cut a person's being and soul in half....

Yesterday I got a wonderful candle and ribbon from a dear friend. It was in memory of my son, who passed away 6 years ago. I love these gifts and will cherish them always. I lit my candle and looked at my son's scrapbook, memorializing him and feeling good about being able to "remember" him. For once, I felt a little peace.

Then it happens.... I ran into into an acquaintance and I share with her that it was Infant Loss Awareness day. Her remarks were so shallow and mean, I almost started to cry. She states how there is a "day for everything isn't there?" "Why would they make such a day, it just tears the wound open again!" She then goes on about some very trivial issues, nothing life altering. How can you compare not being able to send your kid somewhere vs the loss of a child?????? Shallow...

Now this is clearly a mom who has healthy kids and has never experienced such a loss. Her words angered me. Does she not know we don't need a day to "open up the wounds"? The pain lingers, everyday, not knowing when it will surface. How can people be so ignorant? I really believe people should not say anything at all sometimes. Sometimes silence is golden.

Through all of my trials, I have at least become more sensitive to others. When I hear of little kids getting sick, or another mom experience a loss, my heart goes out to them. I try to double check my words and I try not to use cliche's. I try to empathize and listen, not find solutions for them.

I wish some people would just see that their words cut deeper than any knife. My dad always told me "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!"

1 comment:

Never forgetting Gregory said...

OMG. I can't believe that comment! It is bad enough that the only people who really know about the DAY are people suffering. But for someone to just trivialize it...is terrible. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. :( Were you wearing your ribbon when she said that? I can't fathom why she would make that remark.