How many times can you cheat death?????????? Seriously, this has to be some kind of joke. But this awful joke is my reality...... WHY!!! Why me? Why my children????
Cerriah has been dealing with awful sugar lows lately. Three times in the past week to be exact. Her latest, worst battle, was just this morning. We have had the ambulance at our home twice in the past week. I couldn't wake her this morning.
I have nightmares. Nightmares that I can't wake up from. I was so scared when she was unresponsive this morning. Thank God David was here with me today. After 5 minutes of trying to wake her, she finally opened her eyes. I wasn't (and was) thankful. Why? Because her eyes had a blank stare and were rolling in the back of her head. I don't know which was worse, not waking up or the blank stare. Saliva dribbling down her chin, not being able to speak, completely limp in her daddy's arms. A sight I can not get out of my mind.......
She's fine now. She's awake and running around. But I ask, how many times??? I am tired of these jokes. She is such a fighter, so resilient, but will she ever grow tired of fighting for her life? I don't even want to ponder those thoughts right now. I can't. I won't.
I am broken, broken beyond repair.
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6 comments:
That is so scary. And unfair. I can't imagine how those images must stay with you. You don't get enough sleep as it is...and to have to lay awake worrying about your little ones. Just terrible. Try not to think the worst, although I know I would as well. Hugs.
Found your link through "My Charming Kids". . .so grateful to have done so. My five year old has Type 1 Diabetes, as well. No one, but no one can ever understand what it is like to fight this hideous disease for and with your child unless they are going through it themselves. It is a moment by moment struggle. . . must have the grace of God to sustain us and our dear children. I will pray for you and your precious family!
We will pray for you and your little ones. No it is not fair, try to only digest and think of the present things at hand. Don't dwell on the past, and take the future one step at a time, trusting God to help you through each trial.
And remember there are people praying for you!!!
I understand completely, well not from a mothers view but scared for myself. I have scared my parents a couple times. May I ask what type of insulin to they take?
They are on an insulin pump and take Novalog. I know you have to understand what they go through :(
Thanks for following our diabetes blog! I was just reading this post on your blog & it brought me to tears. I have been in this situation before & I also cannot get those images out of my head. Seeing them like that is awful isn't it? How old are your girls? My daughter is 9, diagnosed at age 5.
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