I have been really on edge lately. Ready for a mental breakdown at any second. I am done with school, and should be enjoying these few weeks off. I thought it was strange until I looked at the calendar today. I broke down in hysterics, uncontrollable crying.
Seven years ago today I was making cakes for a wedding and my nephew's birthday party. I was also almost nine months pregnant. I was so busy that weekend. I was lifting cakes and baking for 3 days straight. The day after I was done I never felt my little boy kick again. Ever.
I can't stop crying. I can't believe it has been seven years. Why does God have to take our babies away? Why do we have to suffer? He should be in school, in first grade. I should be stroking his brown curly hair, gazing into his brown eyes. Instead I can barely see my computer screen as I type.
Memorial Day is not the same for me now. It was the day that I realized my son was gone. This year Memorial Day is also David's birthday. I will try to make it the best for him. The thought of making cakes though always take me back to my son, since it was the last time I spent with him.
A mother's pain is never gone. I hope I can make it through this weekend in one piece.
About Me
.JPG)
- Momof4
- I am a mom of four beautiful children. One is in heaven and the other three bring me happiness everyday of my life. My two daughters both have Type I diabetes and we hope and pray for a cure. [link=http://counters.families.com][img noborder]http://tac.families.com/cb/255801.png[/img][/link]
3 comments:
Anniversaries are always hard. Hang in there. I have been in the place where I asked the questions you posted about last week. And yet, when I read your post, I cannot formulate an answer to the cry of your heart. Maybe because in some ways I am still finding those answers. I will pray for you. God bless.
I am about 3 seconds away from a huge mental breakdown myself. I can imagine that the buildup to this tragic anniversary is so tough. I wish your Memorial Day wouldn't have to be full of painful memories and tears. It isn't fair that Josiah isn't here sharing in life with you. Hugs.
Hope your day was better then you thought it would be.
No, God doesn't hate you. Why we have to suffer is beyond our understanding.
My heart goes out to you as you face all those memories, and why questions.
Will pray for you and may God send some blessings your way!
Post a Comment