Josiah

This is really for myself, since I have never written these words down. I always play the memories in my head, and they have never faded. Yet, I am always afraid they will. So maybe my mind will be at ease if I can write these down so I can remember these moments for years to come. Don't feel like you have to read.

Almost seven years ago I was pregnant with our third child, our first son. I had waited to tell our families about the news, since Lexi was still an infant herself! We told everyone at Lexi's dedication, when everyone came over to our house. I'll never forget the day that I wore my red turtleneck and showed off my 20 week pregnant belly.

The pregancy was strange. I don't know why or how. I just always had this dreaded feeling something awful was going to happen. I dismissed these ideas as anxiety, since our oldest had just been diagnosed with diabetes a few months earlier. There were times where I would just feel oddly dizzy and I would have to lay down wherever I was until it passed, whether it was on the floor in the room or in the bathroom. I never discussed it with my OB, since I had thought it was anxiety.

David had gotten laid off of his job and he was the only one working. Needless to say things were tough. In order to make a little extra money, since we know you are rich on unemployment (haha), I was making cakes. Cakes were my passion. I loved doing it. However doing it with an eight month prego belly was more than a challenge! It was May 25th, my husband's b-day, and I had a huge wedding cake due. I remember sitting on a stool at the kitchen table decorating the cake. We delivered it successfully and even helped at the wedding. The bride loved it.

The following Monday was Memorial day and my nephew's b-day party. I had made him a Winnie the Pooh b-day cake that day. It was at a park and the day was extremely hot. My cousin had just had her baby boy and I held him in my arms. I whispered to him "Tell the baby in my belly to hurry up, I want to meet him." They were odd words, but for some reason I spoke them. Little did I know my words would become true. I held him and waited for my baby to kick me, nothing happened. I held my breath and waited for a kick..... nothing. My sister was making hamburgers (what I craved for during that pregnancy) but oddly enough I wasn't hungry. It was in that moment that I had realized all my pregnancy symptoms were gone. I wasn't hungry, I didn't feel him kick, I didn't even have to pee that day! I dismissed it as being too tired since I had all that cake business going on.

The next day as soon as the OB's office opened I called. I spoke to the nurse and told her "I haven't felt my baby kick in quite sometime, I need to come in"

Reply "I'll put your name on the list and have someone call you back"

OK???????????

Ten seconds later a REAL nurse calls me. "We need you to come in right away."


Part 2 will come later, gotta run to a meeting!